smilestopscars | A House in Currant, Maine, Monday

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A House in Currant, Maine, Monday

Anyone who hadn't expected Ezra to hightail it the hell away from Limbo City at his earliest convenience was a fool. Because he had. Immediately as soon as danger had been over, and straight back to Currant.

But not to his house.

Nope, to Ava and Cade's, where he'd made himself at home on Ava's bed until she figured out he wasn't leaving. (Even if he also wasn't saying what was wrong with him. But she knew something was wrong, and that was enough.) He'd slept restlessly, but with his nose buried in Ava's hair. The warmth of her against his chest.

Home wasn't a place, you see.

But he'd returned to his house, now. Scowling at the porch like it had betrayed him, somehow. He was a little more friendly to the fridge, though, now that he was standing in front of it: he was going to positively devour its contents.

Getting kidnapped and stripped of half his self was hungry work, clearly.

[ooc: NFB but open.]

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I don't mind.

You could've said he stress-ate. But really, it wasn't much of a change from his usual appetite.

Good, cause the other option is no cookies.

And no Kathy, but she really wasn't sure that was a draw right now. Hell, she wasn't sure about a lot of things.

Ezra didn't know much about what he felt about anything at all, right about now.

He finished his sandwich in two bites.

And that's a bad option.

Cookies. Cookies were simple. Cookies were good, not having cookies was bad, that was about as far as Kathy had gotten on the 'knowing how she felt about things' train.

Glad we agree, she sent and then stopped texting to start baking.

Three batches of cookies and thirty-five minutes later, Kathy texted a picture of cooling chocolate chip cookies and These will be yours in 5 if the invite's still open.

Of course it is, darling.

There was really no 'of course' about much anything right now, but at least over text, he could pretend.

He'd settled down by the table in the kitchen, listlessly eating things he'd hoarded from the fridge.

Yeah, Kathy didn't buy that 'of course' for a second, if for no other reason than because she knew how tightly strung she was right now, but hey, it was agreement.

And so, five minutes later, she was walking up to his porch, holding a plate of still-warm cookies in her hand and a container of more in the bag at her side. Hey, he'd told her that he didn't share and Kathy wasn't in the mood for games.

Normally, she was at his door in several bounces and a handful of seconds. This time, it took a solid minute to traverse the distance, no speed or bouncing (or smiles) in evidence as she knocked on his door.

But hey. Cookies.

Yeah, he noticed, as he came to the door.

He himself looked a little on the weary side, too, as much as he was trying to project something easy and light.

"Hello, Kathy. Come in."

"Thanks," she said, shoving the plate of cookies at him in lieu of flinging herself.

It said a lot that Ezra, with as fucked up as everything was between them, was still the person she was most comfortable around right now. Things were strained with Dante, odd with Anders, Raven hadn't been there, and she and Eliot were fighting. Ezra was complicated and confusion, but he was safe.

Yeah, she was aware of the irony here.

"Chocolate chip, fresh from the oven."

"Thank you," Ezra said, and even with all this abundant weirdness, nothing could stop him from snagging a cookie off the plate with his free hand and shoving it in his mouth.

That was what they were here for, right?

He chewed thoughtfully for a moment. "Tasty."

"Good," Kathy said, sounding relieved. Her eyes crawled over him, checking for signs he wasn't okay. Well, outward signs. She knew better than to expect him to show anything about how he felt inwardly. "I nearly forgot the salt in the first batch."

She skirted around him, close enough to brush by unless he moved, and made her way to the couch. She wanted to sprawl out, done written over every line. Instead she sat, almost primly, posture rigid, afraid to relax.

There weren't really any discernible outward signs. His wrists had healed, and the dried blood washed off before even Ava had gotten a glimpse of it.

He didn't reply aside from an idle 'hmm' as he made his way ovver to the couch as well, and flopped down.

Well, at least he hadn't gotten so hurt that there were still outward signs, huh?

Kathy looked a lot rougher around the edges than he did, but when wasn't that true? She on her best day still couldn't compete with Ez on his worst.

"So..." she said, pulling out her container and grabbing a cookie of her own, "...Yeah, that's about what I got. Pretty sure everything else is off-limits."

Fuck. This was going awesomely.

Ezra watched her in silence for a moment.

Then he reached out to put his arm around her, and pull her close to him.

And Kathy just--crumpled. Didn't cry. She wasn't sad. She just kind of deflated, curling up around him, burying her face in his shirt and her arms twining around his waist.

She'd needed this. More than she'd known, even.

And so Ezra held her tight and close, and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

He wasn't at all surprised.

It felt like she hadn't been held since it all had gone down. And sometimes--sometimes you just needed that comfort. The feeling that you mattered.

"Thanks," she murmured. "Worth all three batches of cookies, just for this."

"Sounds a little cheap, dumpling," Ezra murmured. Just to attempt a quip. It was his nature, after all.

His fingertips rubbed a circle against her back.

"Not when you realize cookies are pretty much the best thing I've got to offer," Kathy mumbled.

"Not true."

He was too worn down to go for a more elaborate argument. So he hoped that was enough.

She wasn't going to press him for more anyway. Just hugged him tighter. Hand coming up to cup his cheek, her fingers tracing over the fine bones under his skin.

"You can have 'em anyway," she said. "I'd brought them so I could eat them, too, but...they're yours." She laughed softly. "I'm not really hungry, so it's not even a very good thank you."

Ezra's eyes were closed. For a second, he just focused on her touch.

"Still," he said, just to say something.

Her fingers ghosted over his lips for just a moment, standing in for the kiss he wouldn't accept yet. For a second, she was tempted to throw over good sense and just go for it, but...no. It would all - well, okay, not all but a lot - be because of how crazy and out of sorts she was feeling and that was a shitty reason to force a kiss on someone.

He was her friend, not her toy. And how could she demand he respect her if she acted like she didn't respect him?

Instead, she moved her hand up to his hair and gently scratched, nails light over his scalp. "This okay?" she whispered.

Ezra wondered for a second whether she'd go for it. But then she didn't, and then there was a hand in his hair, and his breath hitched. Then he exhaled a sigh.

He nodded. It was a little... quick, but still only a slight movement. Like he didn't want her to think even for a second that it wasn't okay, but also he didn't want to interfere with the touching by jostling her hand.

She was tempted. God, she was tempted. But if she was going to go against his no, she was going to do it for the right reasons, not because she was feeling scared and lonely and angry and abandoned.

Ez deserved better than that. From everyone, but most definitely from her.

"Good," she murmured, adding a little more pressure to her finger tips. "It's been a shitty weekend. You deserve to feel good after it."

And she just needed this. This moment of connection, of belonging.

Ezra's 'no' was a fragile and fickle thing.

He didn't say anything, just made a noise in the back of his throat that managed to be want and need without being sexual. Or maybe that was just the context. Maybe it was the exact same sound as always.

He tried pulling her closer.

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