Voicemail

[smilestopscars]

It's Ez. You know what to do, darling.

Comments

[not_every_mage]

"But then Kathy and Dante gave the stars a nudge a little bit," Anders nodded. "... oh, that reminds me. When do you think you'll be on the island next?"

He had heard that Limbo City was a nonstarter, and it didn't seem like the right time to step into that particular hornet's nest.

[smilestopscars]

Limbo City was a world of no, thank you.

So Ezra appreciated it not being brought up.

"When either I'm invited next, or the mood happens to take me," he said. "I don't really plan too far ahead."

[not_every_mage]

"Fair enough,"Anders said. "I'm not sure I'd have a much better answer. I haven't even made up my mind about homecoming yet."

He hesitated, realized he didn't have a whole lot more to say that wouldn't run the risk of stepping onto shaky ground. No need to ruin a perfectly nice conversation with that.

"So .... see you when the mood strikes, I suppose? Unless you wanted to talk to me about anything else."

[smilestopscars]

Ezra hadn't even considered Homecoming. He probably needed to pay a little more attention to his email.

But that was not what he said.

There was a pause. And then, his tone perhaps a little un-Ezra-like in its mater-of-factness, he said, "I miss them. You know that, right?"

He didn't want to get onto all the shaky ground, either. So this was just... something he wanted to have out there. Another token. This time to combat old accusations from Dante about how never said anything real.

Well, this was real.

[not_every_mage]

"I do now," Anders said, surprised into his own bluntness by Ezra's tone. "And it scares me, because I can't stand the thought of you hurting them again."

There was other stuff there, and simple jealousy was high on the list. But watching Kathy get psychically smashed by Ezra again would be fifty times worse for Anders than if she just slept with him.

[smilestopscars]

"I know," Ezra replied, keeping it simple and even. "Neither can I."

He had a lot of guilt inside him that he didn't think he'd ever fully shake.

[not_every_mage]

"Saying 'don't do it' is probably too easy," Anders observed. "But ...."

He didn't have a better idea.

[smilestopscars]

"I can't make promises," Ezra said, with some faint soft quality. "It's not as if I set out to do it the first time."

But life had intervened in ways he was not willing to dosclose. It had taken him long enough to talk about it even to Dante and Kathy, and they'd been directly affected.

"All I can say is that I'm trying."

[not_every_mage]

"Can I ask what happened?" Anders wondered. "All I know was that one day you were their best friend, and then you were just nowhere for a long time. And now you're trying again."

[smilestopscars]

For a moment, the only sound down the line was Ezra's sigh. If only because the way he rubbed one eye and then the bridge of his nose probably made no noise.

"It's a long story that was exhausting to live through," he said, finally, "and that's exhausting to tell."

[not_every_mage]

"And I didn't call hoping to exhaust you," Anders said, after a long and thoughtful pause of his own. "But it's over now? Mostly?"

[smilestopscars]

"Yes."

Well, the part where he freaked out and had panic attacks in secret was over. So, good enough.

[not_every_mage]

"Good," Anders said.

And then, sheepishly: "I'm glad you're doing better."

[smilestopscars]

"Darling, I have never been anything short of amazing."

He was quickly running out of his allotted time to be open and genuine for the day. Hence the light, quipping tone. It also served as a nice counterpoint to Anders' sheepishness.

Still, he dropped it for another second. "But thanks."

[not_every_mage]

"Of course," Anders said, which went for both bits of what Ezra had said. "And you're welcome."

[smilestopscars]

"Now, to circle back to an earlier point... See you when the mood strikes, I guess."

It was a solid a plan as he ever had.