smilestopscars | A House, Currant, Maine, Wednesday

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A House, Currant, Maine, Wednesday

Today's Coterie job had been a dirty one.

No, not the fun kind.

But not the supremely unfun kind, either. Just... literally dirty. There'd been a whole lot of mud involved. It had gotten everywhere, which was why Ezra's first order of business upon getting home had been to take a long and very thorough shower.

Second order of business, upon getting out of the shower, was to throw his muddily destroyed clothes in the trash. With a great big sigh, because he'd liked that shirt, dammit. Just, you know, not enough to go through the trouble of washing it.

Third order of business? Locating clothes to wear.

[ooc: NFB due to distance. Posted with one in mind, but open before her!]

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"Too true," Kathy said with a sigh. She shifted, changing directions of her sprawl, so her head was on his shoulder while her feet dangled over the arm of the couch. "I was telling Dante, it's like a news crawl on CNN. There's always a low-level amount of stuff that's going on inside on my head. And sometimes it spikes and makes it impossible to focus on anything else."

"Mmh." Well, he could relate a little, even if his issue wasn't really overthinking, per se. But he wasn't going to get into that. "Well, darling, if there was a remote control for this kind of thing, I would help you to at leats switch to a less heavy channel."

He dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

"I know," she said softly. "And I'm not trying to make you, like, responsible for it or anything." She started to unconsciously wring her hands a bit. "Just...a 'This is how your Kathy works' kinda thing, I guess? I don't wanna just wordwall at you all of how I'm fucked up or whatever, but..." She trailed off, frowning. "I dunno. I'm worse than I was in high school. Figured maybe you should know?"

It wasn't very easy for him to take her hands, right now. It involved gently pulling her a little more against his chest rather than his shoulder, so that he could get an arm around her and cover at least one of her fidgeting hands with one of his.

"I get it, darling," he told her, a little quieter than before. "There's been a lot that I'm sure hasn't helped that trait of yours any."

Kathy was okay with that. Kathy was okay with cuddling in general, especially with Ez. They might not be sexual anymore, but they could still be intimate.

"Yeah," she said, red weals on her wrists from her grip. "I'm doing better. I'm doing a lot better. But I'm still only shooting for 'okay' most days and sometimes, I don't always hit it, you know? And even the stupidest shit can set me off."

"Trauma has its effects," Ezra replied mildly. Because boy, did he know it. He brushed his thumb in a light, slow, soothing back and forth against her wrist.

He wasn't very good at talking about these things, but he was okay at small, physical gestures. "But you have to forgive yourself for that."

"I'll add it to the list," Kathy said lightly. "I just...I dunno? Thought you should know? So it didn't take you by surprise or something."

Everyone else Kathy interacted with a lot had already seen it: the guys, Raven, Eliot. And those who hadn't we're people that she generally wouldn't freak out in front of anyway. Friends, sure, but not close enough to see her lose it.

Ez straddled the gap, currently on one side, but hopefully going to cross. It seemed only fair to make sure he knew what he was in for.

"Well, then I thank you for trusting me with it." Because he knew this didn't seem like the kind of thing she was advertising to everyone she knew.

Much like he hadn't, when he'd come apart at the seams at Christmas. "I'll keep it in mind."

"So glad I came over to treat you for lunch," she said wryly, pushing herself up again. Not that she wanted away from him, exactly, but she needed a moment to compose herself. To stop feeling vulnerable. "So, you know, I could dump all this in your lap, too. You must be thrilled."

Ezra didn't try to stop her. If she needed space, he would give it to her.

"I'm your friend, Kathy."

That was all he said. Sincere. Just a reminder, although he knew that his track record meant that it might not have held as much weight as it had at one point.

"You are," Kathy said, earnestly. She leaned over, reaching for his face, her palms intending to settle on his cheeks to draw him in for a kiss, if he'd allow it.

Sweet and closed-mouth and even a little chaste, yes. Because in this moment, he was her friend. And she appreciated the hell out of that.

Ezra let her. But he was surprised, to say the least: sure, it was chaste, and he himself also kept it that way, but it still seemed to be treading a dangerous line.

His hands stayed where they were.

Kathy had said that kissing was okay--with (overly) specific caveats. This kiss was still firmly on the side of where Kathy was comfortable.

"Thank you," she said softly when she drew away again, after only a few heartbeats at most. "For being my friend."

He really, really wanted to actually kiss her. The urge was there, right along the ghost of her lips on his from just these few seconds ago.

But he was trying his best.

So he just quirked a lopsided smile. "You're welcome, cupcake."

"Thanks," she said, settling down against his shoulder again.

"...Did I just make things terribly awkward again?"

She was good for that.

"Well, no," Ezra replied. "Just the standard level of awkward, really."

He gave her a light nudge with his shoulder.

"Nothing out of the ordinary."

"I mean, I bring my own levels of awkward wherever I go, so that's no surprise," Kathy snorted. She laced her fingers through his, nearly bringing it up to brush her lips over his knuckles. Except...that bringing his fingers to her mouth was, umm, a bad plan. Great idea, but very bad plan.

Yes. Yes it was. So it was for the best that she didn't. Even though Ezra would've liked it.

He liked a lit of things that weren't okay.

"It's okay, darling," he said. "I'm used to it." He was part of the root cause, anyway.

Hey, she'd had plenty of awkward even before all this!

...But yeah, he wasn't wrong.

"You're working on stuff, though," she noted. "I'm noticing. I don't want you to think I'm not."

Sure, it hadn't been exactly put to the test under crazy circumstances or anything, but this was already feeling a lot more like junior year rather than senior.

Ezra shrugged. "Well, what would be the point if I wasn't?" he asked, rhetorically. "You can't expect a broken thing to get better if you don't do anything about it."

And he was very, very aware of his part in the breaking.

Kathy snorted. "You'd be surprised how many people never figure that part out. Or who get downright offended at the idea that they should change."

Not that Ezra was either of those types of people. If he had been, she wouldn't be here. But she couldn't say she hadn't met the type.

Like her dad, for example.

She lightly butted her head against his shoulder. "I'm just saying, I'm not taking it for granted. And I appreciate it."

"I know, darling." It was all that good-heartedness he'd been trying to convince her younger self of.

Then, much lighter in tone, he continues, "Now, can we please talk about something that isn't how great I am for not being an asshole?"

"We could talk about how nice it would be if you shared a cookie," Kathy said sweetly.

"Or we could talk about how I don't share food items," Ezra countered. "And about how that's a very good policy on my part."

Kathy immediately saw the flaw in her request. It had been a request.

"I'm sure I can't imagine what that policy might be," she announced, shifting a little in her seat. Specifically, moving into position to steal a cookie. "Please do explain."

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