smilestopscars | A House, Currant, Maine, Saturday

"True, but I also don't know enough about it to imagine it," she pointed out. "It could be anything." After the showcase it would likely fuel her imagination, but until then, it was a cypher. "Aprons, though, especially a frilly little one around your waist? That I can imagine."

"And that's exactly what you'll have to keep on doing," Ezra told her lightly. "Because it's not happening."

Probably. Not without good incentive, because with good enough incentive he could do just about anything.

"Feel free to still bake here, though."

"See, now I'm not seeing a good reason to do that," Kathy said, thoughtfully. "I know enough not to expect to get any of the cookies I make, you just said Ava and Lock won't get any either, and I don't even get you in an apron."

"To be honest, the joy of my pleasure should be its own reward."

He loved baked goods more than he did most people, wasn't that good enough?

"I just brought you pie," Kathy pointed out. "And sent you cupcakes less than a month ago. When are you going to worry about the joy of my pl--there is no way to finish that sentence without it sounding absolutely filthy."

"And then I won't have to tell you that I would worry all about the joy of your pleasure if you'd only let me."

Now that, that sounded almost entirely like normal Ezra.

"So you say, but your stance on aprons suggests otherwise," Kathy said. Her voice was light, playful, but her eyes had slid closed for a second there, because jesus Christ, Ez. Unfair.

"If the apron was really the key, I would wear one in a heartbeat," Ezra told her. "You know that."

Dropping his voice low was unnecessary. Probably unfair too.

Entirely unfair. Which was the only reason Kathy could think of for losing her damn mind and fight fire with fire by growling, "And if it were only so simple as to need a key, I'd already be spread out on your kitchen table like Sunday dinner while you figured out which part of me you wanted to sample first."

This was a war Kathy couldn't win and she knew that. Dammit, self.

Thankfully for her, it was also a war Ezra wasn't too inclined to fight. No, he wasn't unaffected by what she'd just said, but he'd meant what he'd implied.

Even if it wasn't as simple as a key, it was in her hands more than it was in his. And that was why he wasn't inclined to push things too much, even with just words and teasing.

So his voice was back to normal, just amused. "But instead, I'll just be having pie."

Kathy nodded, taking a second to breathe out. Refocus. Kiss his temple.

"I do have kind of an invasive question for you," she said a minute later. "Can I ask it?"

"Always, cupcake."

Well, not always, necessarily. But yes, she was free to ask one right now.

"What's up between you and Dante?" Kathy asked. Yes, she'd told Dante she wouldn't interfere and she was trying not to...but it bothered her to see so much distance between them. Once, she'd been jealous of how quickly they'd taken to her and how closely they'd bonded, but now she'd give a lot to see them back there.

If it were even possible.

Ezra heaved a quiet sigh.

"Couldn't ask anything more simple than that, hmm?" he asked, soft and resigned. "I don't know, darling. I thought we'd been getting better."

In their own, very unsteady way.

"You might be," Kathy said, shrugging. "I don't know. He doesn't say much to me."

Not since LA and their conversation there, which she wasn't going to bring up. Especially since she'd promised that she wouldn't interfere.

"I just...I want you to be close again. Friends again. To laugh together, even if it's at me. I wanna walk in here and see you half-sprawled on him, arguing about music or something."

"We can't force it, darling," Ezra replied gently. Not that that was what she wanted them to do, he was sure, but it still felt like something that should be said. "We can't force anything."

He raised one hand, ran it back through his hair.

"I don't know why it's so hard with him. Or why it's so much harder with him and than with you." And things between them weren't exactly easy, really.

Force it? She was leery of even having said this much, just in case it was the wrong thing. But--he had a point and she nodded to acknowledge it.

"Sometimes I wonder if the three of us should hang out together. If it might be easier - or if maybe that would be putting myself in the middle of something that doesn't concern me."

Just...they both seemed to talk past each other sometimes, someone saying one thing and the other taking it a different way. She wondered if having a third person there would smooth little things over - or maybe make it worse.

Ezra genuinely didn't know.

"Maybe," he said, shrugging. His expression, while soft enough, had gone a little closed-off again. Mostly because he really didn't know, and when he didn't know his own feelings, it was usually best to keep anything from getting too close to the surface. "Might be jarring, though. Hard to say."

Kathy nodded. "I want to help, but I'm also well-aware I might hinder more than anything else," she admitted, brushing her hair back behind her ear. "I'm...kind of a lot."

But maybe the power of 'Oh, Kathy' might unite them?

"It's not that." Even though she could be kind of a lot, sometimes. But that didn't really have much of an effect here. He didn't think so, anyway. "I just don't know what his feelings are about you and me, these days. Not sure I would know how to act."

That was one part of it.

"What are your feelings on you and me these says?" Kathy asked, because apparently her time of asking hard, emotional questions wasn't over yet.

It wasn't that hard, though.

"We're good," he said. "Better than we used to. maybe not as solid as we were --" Before everything. "-- but maybe that kind of solid wasn't all that solid in the first place."

Because he'd managed to tear it down without really even trying, and practically at a moment's notice.

He looked at the ceiling again, head tilted back. "And if you want me to be honest, darling, I'm not going to lie and say I'm completely fine with not doing some things with you, or sometimes feeling like I should swallow some things I want to say to you about them." Because he did feel a need to tip-toe around his very real desire for her, sometimes. "But that doesn't mean I don't get it."

"That all makes perfect sense," Kathy said, "and pretty much aligns to where I am." She frowned, thinking about it. "I know what you mean about swallowing things back. I want you. That's just...a fact. Practically a constant of the universe. I've been furious at you and still wanted to bang you."

God, angry sex with Ez would probably be electric.

"But I'm not always sure if I can say so. Or when I can say so. Is it unfair to you, like a tease? Is it unfair to them? I know I'm supposed to be the one setting the boundaries, but I'm not always sure where they are, either."

"And I can't be the one to set them," Ezra replied as he straightened up again, or at least enough to look at her. "Because I have none."

He'd had some, after she'd come back and they'd started trying again. But by now they had all dissolved into every bit of warmth of her skin against his that he'd felt since then.

Kathy nodded, thumb absently stroking over the pulse in his throat. She was quiet again, rolling things over in her mind; following a handful of 'if, then' scenarios to their logical conclusions.

"Okay," she said, looking into his eyes again. "Hit me. Gimme some of those things you've been holding back. The most outrageous one you can think of while being put on the spot."

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