A House, Currant, Maine, Saturday

[smilestopscars]

Earlier in the week, Kathy had requested Ezra to tell her when he was free to be visited at home in Currant. And today, well, he was free for a visit: the house was empty, Lock was off in Boston with Bianca, and Ezra had nothing in the way of obligations happening. So he'd told her that.

And now he was just waiting around, lounging on the couch, reading a book. Easy Saturday, just like he liked it.

[ooc: NFB. Primarily for the one mentioned, but open also for texts/calls/whathaveyou!]

Comments

[smilestopscars]

"Mmh."

That wish of hers, about what it would be like if he didn't perform for her? This was it. He sounded subdued. Hadn't really yet crawled up to managing to sound like... much of anything.

But he could prompt her to keep talking to him. It'd probably help him get out of this hole.

"What's his name?"

[spin_kick_snap]

She was willing to prattle along so he didn't have to. She'd wanted to give him time to think and not just talk at him while he tried to center himself. "Ronin," she said. "He was a stray and came to my rescue." Had saved her life, in fact. "Turns out he was a puppy in service training when he lost his trainers and his intended recipient and that's when he went stray."

Kathy figured he'd get it.

[smilestopscars]

More or less, he did.

Managed a soft snort that was more a quiet puff of air than it was anything else. "You and your strays, cupacke."

[spin_kick_snap]

She chuckled. "It's cause I'm a soft touch and everyone from miles around can see it," she said. "I exude an aura of 'let me feed you and give your kisses.'"

[smilestopscars]

Another snort.

Then a sigh, as his hand moved up to pet her hair.

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy made a happy little noise at the touch. "You know it's true," she teased. "I think one of the reasons you like me so much is that you're a fox and I'm a tiny baby lamb."

[smilestopscars]

"That's for wolves."

Yeah, like foxes would leave lambs alone, Ez.

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy snickered. "You're a fox and I'm an adorable baby chick?" she offered, since Ezra could hardly argue that simile.

[smilestopscars]

"Better," he allowed, not quite smiling but still managing to sound a little lighter without it coming off forced.

So, progress.

[spin_kick_snap]

"I notice you're not arguing against me being a soft touch," Kathy said dryly.

[smilestopscars]

Ezra tangled his fingers further in her hair.

"Why would I?"

[spin_kick_snap]

"Because I'm a tough-as-nails independent woman who takes no guff from anybody?" Kathy suggested, sounding hopeful.

[smilestopscars]

Ezra shrugged, but just barely. "I don't see those two things as mutually exclusive," he said, quietly. "They're usually better when they're not, even."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy nuzzled his throat, dropping a soft kiss there before resting her head again. "Go on?" she invited. "I'm listening."

[smilestopscars]

"I don't know how much more I have to say about it," he warned her. Although it was light and soft, as far as warnings went. "Because I think it's pretty obvious. Being strong doesn't have to mean being hard. And being gentle doesn't mean having to be a pushover."

[spin_kick_snap]

"Sometimes I just like to hear you talk," Kathy said. "Explain things, even ones that are obvious. We don't always see things the same way."

Beat.

"Even if we do this time. Which is good because I'd like to be strong, but there's no way I think anyone would call me hard."

[smilestopscars]

"Hard is rarely a good quality, anyway," Ezra replied. His head tipped back against the back of the couch. "None of my friends really have it, and I like it that way."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy did not make the obvious joke, though mostly because they were having a good, semi-serious talk and didn't want to derail it. "Sometimes, I think if I were harder, maybe I would have survived LA the first time," she murmured. "Or come back better. Less...fragmented, kinda."

[smilestopscars]

"Maybe." He wasn't going to lie to her about that. Being tough could keep you away from harm. "But I don't know if you'd still also have had all the people you did, before and after. Soft's more inviting. Easier to get tangled up in."

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy idly began weaving tiny braids in Ezra's hair as she thought about it. "Especially after," she agreed. "Though, I think I would have liked it better when I first came back. Those first few months it was just so-"

She stopped and shook her head. No use going over those cold days. Not anymore. They were over now and that was what mattered.

[smilestopscars]

"It's over," he replied, agreeing with what she'd left unsaid. At least as much as anything was fully over when you ended up carrying it with you for always in your brain. Anyway.

"You are what you are, darling."

[spin_kick_snap]

"And I am soft and hopefully entangling," Kathy said. "I want...I want a community. Where everyone around me loves me and know they're loved in return. I want to belong to people, if that makes any sense at all."

[smilestopscars]

"It does," Ezra sighed.

Often, he might've played it off like it didn't. But he belonged to Ava and Lock and they belonged to him, and there was no question about it. So he did get it.

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy had half-expected him to play it that way, in fact. Had wondered if he was going to give her a glib answer about foxes not answering to anybody. His honesty had her hugging him tight for a long moment in appreciation.

"What is it that you want?" she asked. "Do you know?"

[smilestopscars]

Ezra exhaled another quiet sigh. There was a long silence, where he just drew haphazard, slow shapes against her back in place of saying something.

Words weren't easy to come by.

"I just... want to be worth something."